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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24361453">Don't Look Back in Anger</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/drinking_kanar_with_damar/pseuds/drinking_kanar_with_damar'>drinking_kanar_with_damar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>1970s, Assault, Attempted Murder, Bullying, Dumbledore Approaching the Point, Gen, I tried really hard to be nice to Peter Pettigrew, I'm American, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, James Potter not Being an Asshole, Peeves Has a Heart, Period-Typical Homophobia, Prefect Remus Lupin, Regulus Black Deserves Better, Regulus Black is a Good Sibling, Remus Lupin Angst, Remus Lupin Wears Contact Lenses, Sectumsempra (Harry Potter), Severus Snape Being an Asshole, Sirius Black Being an Asshole, Sirius Black's Prank on Severus Snape, Snape's Worst Memory, The Black Family is Extra AF, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Werewolf Discrimination, tag tag tag, unbeta'd we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:07:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,770</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24361453</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/drinking_kanar_with_damar/pseuds/drinking_kanar_with_damar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Even up to his death, Severus couldn’t be sure why he did it. Lupin had always been a nice enough fellow, and he did make it a point to call Severus by his real name...but he never tried to get the other boys to stop bullying him. Perhaps it was that bottled up rage and the fact that they were alone that made him do it. Or maybe in his pissed up state, he thought he was facing Potter or Black.</p><p>This fic will take a dive into why Sirius told Snape how to get to the Shrieking Shack, including some discussion on how/why Snape developed the sectumsempra curse and his first use of it.</p><p>Title from the song of the same name by Oasis.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Regulus Black &amp; Sirius Black, Remus Lupin &amp; Severus Snape, Sirius Black &amp; Remus Lupin &amp; Peter Pettigrew &amp; James Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Don't Look Back in Anger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Behold! The first Harry Potter fanfic that I've written since the ye olde days of 2011 on fanfiction.net. I hope you enjoy and please leave me some comments and kudos! &lt;333</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>8 Oct. 1976:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I know who did it - meet me in the courtyard after breakfast  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> -RAB </em>
</p><p>Sirius shoved the paper in his pocket and looked across the dining hall to the Slytherin table. Regulus met his eyes briefly, a stormy expression crossing his face before he returned to his conversation with a younger student whom Sirius didn’t recognize.</p><p>James gave a laugh, recognizing Regulus’ distinctive scrawl on the discarded envelope as he took a seat next to his best friend. “You two have gone completely mental. I mean, why bother talking anymore when you can just send an owl, eh Moony?”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t know,” Remus replied, stifling a yawn. Tonight was a full moon and he hadn’t been able to sleep last night no matter how hard he tried. “I suppose some people don’t want to associate with the disgraced heir to the Black bloodline. Can’t say I blame them honestly, he’s a bit of a prat.”</p><p>“Aw to hell with both of you,” Sirius said, giving James a playful shove and kicking Remus across the table. The three teens laughed amicably as Peter sat down next to Remus. “What’s so funny then?”</p><p>“Well, well, well. Look who finally got his arse out of bed,” James teased, knowing full well that he had only left their dormitory a few moments prior.</p><p>“Yeah well, I needed my beauty sleep,” Peter replied, striking a pose.</p><p>Sirius snorted, “You more than most...except maybe <em> Night of the Living Dead </em> here next to you.” </p><p>Remus rolled his eyes and poured himself another cup of tea. “I would tell you off, but I already fucked you pretty good, mate.”</p><p>“Such a sweetheart, ladies and gents!” Sirius replied. “It’s truly a wonder he’s never had a girlfriend!” To which Remus responded by making a show of flipping him off under the guise of adjusting his glasses and giving a big grin. “I hope you appreciate that I haven’t put in my contact lenses yet solely for this purpose.”</p><p>“So are you going to tell us what Regulus wanted?” James asked when the four had stopped laughing. </p><p>“Nope,” Sirius responded, popping the P, and stood as he realized Regulus was no longer at the table. “See you in Charms!”</p><p>---</p><p>21 Sept. 1976:</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Expelliarmus! </em>”</p><p>Remus sighed wearily as his wand flew out of his hand and landed somewhere across the dimly lit corridor. “Severus, I shouldn’t have to remind you that it’s past curfew. How about you slither back down to the dungeons and I’ll let you off with a warning instead of detention, yeah?”</p><p>“It feels good being in charge, doesn’t it Lupin? Especially knowing that you never will be again?”</p><p>Remus gave a short laugh. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean by that, mate.”</p><p>“We are not friends so you don’t get to call me that,” Severus snapped, holding his wand against the Gryffindor’s throat. “I don’t know why anyone would want to be friends with a freak like you.” </p><p>“Right then, feel good to get that off your chest?” Remus swallowed tightly and lowered his voice. “Too bad you wouldn’t have the gumption to say that if you were sober. Now, would you please lower your wand before you get hurt?”</p><p>Even up to his death, Severus couldn’t be sure why he did it. Lupin had always been a nice enough fellow, and he did make it a point to call Severus by his real name...but he never tried to get the other boys to stop bullying him. Perhaps it was that bottled up rage and the fact that they were alone that made him do it. Or maybe in his pissed up state, he thought he was facing Potter or Black.</p><p>He never could remember saying the curse, but he knew he must have when he heard Lupin give a strangled yelp and felt blood land on his face.</p><p>“Oh fuck,” Severus whispered, unsure what to do. He’d never used the spell before and wasn’t completely sure that it would actually work. Then he heard a sound at the other end of the corridor, and realizing that he would be promptly expelled if he was caught standing over Lupin’s body, did the only thing that seemed logical at the time: he ran and he didn’t stop running until he made it back to the Slytherin dormitory. </p><p>---</p><p>8 Oct. 1976:</p><p> </p><p>“Did you really have to send me an owl, Reg? I'm not exactly hard to find.”</p><p>“Well I for one didn’t want your arsehole friends to shoot the messenger. And anyhow, us Blacks have always had a flair for the dramatic,” Regulus added, swooning against a tree.</p><p>Sirius lit a cigarette by snapping his fingers and gave his brother a look over. He looked about as shitty as Remus, so he clearly hadn’t slept in days. “It was Snape, wasn’t it.”</p><p>Regulus glanced around to make sure that no one was watching them and nodded curtly. “I was still in the common room when he ran in, totally shit-faced and covered in blood.” He spoke in a fierce whisper. “It took me forever to get him to tell me who he attacked and I kept expecting him to say it was you. Merlin, this is so fucked up.”</p><p>Sirius took a long drag from his cigarette and spoke without any emotion, “I’m going to kill him.”</p><p>“Siri, please don’t do anything rash-”</p><p>“What’s the worst that could happen? Mummy and daddy disown me when I’m expelled?” Then a wry smile crossed his lips as Sirius felt an invisible force yank the cigarette from his hand before it disintegrated. “I’ll be seeing you in detention again this evening I suppose, Mr. Black,” came a voice from above.</p><p>“Aw Minnie, darling, another date? I can’t wait! Would you prefer flowers or chocolate?” To which Professor McGonagall responded with a glare that could turn any man other than Sirius Black to stone.</p><p>Regulus groaned and ran a hand down his face. “Terribly sorry for his behavior, Professor. He was raised by wolves, you see.” Naturally earning him a shove from his older brother. “Well I’d best be off to class then. After all, some of us don’t like having detention.”</p><p>“You’re missing out on all the fun, ickle baby brother!” Sirius called after him and Regulus shook his head fondly as he walked away.</p><p>---</p><p>21 Sept. 1976:</p><p> </p><p>Remus felt simultaneously feverish and frigid as he collapsed on the stone floor. He had no idea what spell Severus had hit him with, but he knew that he was bleeding badly and he couldn’t breathe. He tried to call for help but only a choked noise came out. He squeezed his eyes shut and felt tears roll down his cheeks as he was suddenly hit with the realization that he was dying. At least he might see his mam again.</p><p>As Remus could feel himself starting to lose consciousness, he felt a cool breeze followed by a sound reminiscent of an automobile slamming on the breaks and then rapidly reversing. He opened his eyes and thought he saw Peeves the Poltergeist but his vision was swimming.</p><p>Peeves, upon realizing one of the venerable Marauders was in big trouble, sped off to the infirmary.</p><p>“No no no!” cried Madam Pomfrey. “Peeves, out! I have had a long day and I would like to go home and enjoy some tea and biscuits, thank you very much.”</p><p>“And leave a wee student to die?!” Peeves gasped, hand over his chest. “Peevesy thought better of you!”</p><p>Poppy sighed and set her bag down, still not sure whether or not she should trust him. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>The poltergeist flew up in her face so that their noses were touching. “Loony Loopy Lupin is halfway to staying in the castle forever by Minnie McGoogly’s office. Better hurry!” And with that he zoomed back out of the infirmary as quickly as he had arrived.  </p><p>The full moon was over a fortnight away, so she couldn’t understand why Remus would be injured. However, Peeves seemed genuinely frightened, which was something she’d never seen before. She sighed wearily and grabbed a lantern before following after him. </p><p>She found Remus laying in a pool of blood, a deep cut running from his throat down his chest. Poppy immediately got on her knees and grabbed the boy’s wrist, sighing in relief when she felt a thready pulse. She mumbled a few healing spells and turned back to Peeves. “Did you see who did this?”</p><p>Peeves shook his head vigorously. “Peevesy was busy with a tricksy for Mr. Flichy when he heard a thud and someone naughty running away.”</p><p>“I need you to get the headmaster. Would you please tell him to meet me in the infirmary?” Peeves sped out without another word.</p><p>Once the boy was breathing normally, she levitated him to the infirmary and continued to treat him with dittany before bandaging his wounds.</p><p>“Good evening, Poppy,” Dumbledore said softly as he entered the room. “I just had the most curious conversation with our resident poltergeist. Am I right to assume this was a joke in poor taste?”</p><p>She turned to face him looking quite shaken. “I wish it were, Albus.”</p><p>---</p><p>8 Oct. 1976:</p><p> </p><p>Severus turned to glare at Sirius Black after the Gryffindor threw a ball of parchment at the back of his head. He expected the other teen to pretend that he hadn’t done it, and so he hid his surprise when instead Black mouthed ‘open it.’</p><p>Severus sighed heavily and grabbed the ball as discreetly as possible, unfolding it in his lap.</p><p>
  <em> Since you’re clearly a poof for Remus and I’m not one to stand in the way of true love, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Tap the knot at the base of the Whomping Willow with a long stick tonight and follow him through the tunnel. </em>
</p><p>This had to be a trap, Severus knew it had to be. Yet, an opportunity to prove that Lupin was a werewolf once and for all was quite tempting... </p><p>James tried to read the note over Snape’s shoulder, but Sirius pushed him back in his seat.</p><p>“What the hell, mate?” James whispered. “How could you bother Snivellus without me?”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Sirius whispered back, darkly, before returning his attention to Professor Flitwick.</p><p>---</p><p>22 Sept. 1976:</p><p> </p><p>Sirius awoke suddenly to a loud banging noise. He sat up and made eye contact with an equally confused Peter. James was at the door talking to someone whom Sirius couldn’t see. He assumed it was Remus since he realized the other teen wasn’t in bed. Come to think of it, Sirius couldn’t remember him returning to the dormitory last night.</p><p>Peter gave a loud yawn and asked, “What’s going on?”</p><p>James closed the door and shrugged. “Dumbledore’s called an assembly at breakfast. Longbottom doesn’t know what it’s about, but apparently McGonagall wants to see us three first.”</p><p>“But we didn’t even do anything this week!” Sirius groaned in response. “Unless Remus did something stupid last night. Where is he anyhow?”</p><p>“No clue,” said James. “Don’t think he came back last night after doing his rounds, at least I didn’t hear him.”</p><p>“Yeah, me neither,” Peter replied as he started getting dressed. “Who knows, maybe he’s got a girlfriend he hasn’t told us about yet?”</p><p>James snorted at that. “You git. Do you really think that Moony’s got any interest in girls?”</p><p>“Or anyone for that matter outside of his books,” said Sirius. “We’d best not keep Minnie waiting. I’d rather get the scolding over and done with.”</p><p>Once the three teens had finished getting ready and headed downstairs, they found the common room empty except for Professor McGonagall. “Hello gentlemen, you may want to take a seat. I have some news to share with you before breakfast.”</p><p>“Right, er…” James started as he took a seat, followed by Peter, “is this about Remus?”</p><p>Sirius remained standing. “We already know he’s a werewolf if that’s what this is about. Please don’t kick him out. If anyone should be getting expelled, it should be me or James-”</p><p>McGonagall held up a hand to stop him. “No one is in trouble and no one is getting expelled.” She spoke with a soft, kind voice that Sirius had only ever heard her use around him one other time: when she found out that he had been disowned. “Mr. Lupin was attacked last night, presumably by another student. He was badly injured, but he’s going to be alright.”</p><p>The three teens stared back at her, frozen in shock. “Who would want to hurt Remus?” asked Peter.</p><p>“I was hoping that you three would be able to tell me,” she replied. “He claims to not remember who it was, but I suspect he’s not being completely honest about it.”</p><p>James sighed and nervously ran a hand through his hair. “It could be any one of the Slytherins, really. Avery, Mulciber, Wilkes, Rosier…”</p><p>“I appreciate you not saying my brother,” Sirius said, coldly, “but you did forget Snape.”</p><p>James shook his head. “Snape’s too much a coward to attack a prefect-”</p><p>“I’ll remind you how they all feel about You-Know-Who!” interrupted Sirius.</p><p>“And I will remind you how serious it is to accuse another student of something of this magnitude,” McGonagall said sternly. “However, I will take those names under advisement.” </p><p>Peter swallowed tightly. “Professor, would we be able to see him?”</p><p>McGonagall gave him a small smile in return. “Of course you’d have to ask Madam Pomfrey, but I suspect he should be well enough by lunch.”</p><p>---</p><p>9 Oct. 1976:</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”</p><p>Sirius turned to ask Remus what he was going on about and promptly took a fist to his right eye, causing him to stagger backwards.</p><p>“I thought you were my friend! I trusted you, and you- you-!</p><p>“Blimey, Remus, calm down!” James said, appearing behind Sirius along with Peter.</p><p>Sirius held out a hand to hold them back before he stepped up to Remus and said, “I did exactly what that wanker deserved after what he did to you!” Then he shoved the taller teen back. </p><p>“I could’ve killed him,” Remus said through gritted teeth, oblivious to the small crowd of students who had started to circle them. “Or I could’ve done worse. You know how I feel about that!”</p><p>Sirius gave a bitter laugh. “Right, so I’m the bad guy here, got it. Not the guy who attacked you and was willing to let you bleed to death. No, me, the guy who defended you!”</p><p>“I don’t need to be defended, Sirius! I’m not some kind of damsel in distress! I had it handled, but now you’ve gone and buggered it all up! So yes, you are the bad guy!” That caused Sirius to completely lose his temper and he pounced on Remus. James and Peter rushed over and had just managed to separate the other two as Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall arrived. </p><p>“Black, Lupin, Potter, and Pettigrew, go to my office immediately. As for the rest of you, best be off to supper. I hear they’re serving shepherd's pie,” Dumbledore said, calmly. “And Minerva, would you be so kind as to send Mr. Snape along as well?”</p><p>“Erm, sir, if I may,” started James, “Peter doesn’t know what this is about.”</p><p>Dumbledore looked over at Peter, who indeed appeared to be completely flabbergasted. “Very well, you may also head to supper, Mr. Pettigrew.”</p><p>“Thank you, sir,” Peter squeaked before scurrying off towards the Great Hall. </p><p>When the four arrived at Dumbledore’s office, the headmaster looked Sirius and Remus over, taking in their cuts and bruises. “I must confess that I’m surprised by this behavior from you two. Especially you, Remus. I expect you all to speak the truth and tell the full story once Severus arrives, am I making myself clear?”</p><p>The three boys mumbled affirmatives, too ashamed to look Dumbledore in the eye and instead focused on their shoelaces. </p><p>“Right then,” Dumbledore said with a clap as he brought his hands together. “Since I’m depriving you of supper, we best get you some food. I suppose we should tend to your injuries as well.”</p><p>McGonagall brought in a confused Severus Snape as the others sat down to eat. </p><p>“Thank you, Minerva,” Dumbledore said with a smile. “I’ll take it from here, have a good night.”</p><p>Severus paused at the doorway as Professor McGonagall left, taking note of Potter, Black, and Lupin. “Sir, I’m not exactly sure why I’m here with these...rabble-rousers.”</p><p>Dumbledore tutted and made a motion for him to come closer. “Oh Severus, I’m quite sure that you know exactly why you’re here. I understand that you, James, and Sirius have had animosity, but what I don’t understand is why you attacked Remus here.”</p><p>All four of the teens looked at Dumbledore in surprise. “I’m not sure what gave you that idea, Professor,” Snape replied softly after a few seconds.</p><p>“Your classmates here already promised me that they will tell the complete truth, I expect the same from you,” said Dumbledore with a look that felt like he was staring right into the Slytherin’s soul. Severus swallowed hard and nodded in response.</p><p>Dumbledore listened patiently as the boys described the bullying, Severus’ suspicion of Remus being a werewolf and his falling out with Lily Evans, the attack, Sirius telling Severus about the tunnel under the Whomping Willow, and how James stopped him before he got too close. The headmaster stood and walked over to the window, staring at the waning moon, deep in thought.</p><p>“Adolescence is a strange and confusing time for all, perhaps even more so for your generation than those previous,” Dumbledore turned then to face the four teenagers. “It’s true, we are at a crossroads in the Wizarding Community. Frankly, it is a crossroads between right and wrong, between good and evil.</p><p>“Lord Voldemort wants you to give into fear and treat those who are different from you with hatred, whether that be Muggles, Muggle-borns...or even werewolves. I implore you to look past whatever differences exist and to find the commonalities,” he continued, looking across the four teens. “By all means that doesn’t mean that we should forget our heritage, but we should never use it against one another.</p><p>“This school was founded to train the greatest witches and wizards in the world, regardless of race, income, sexual orientation, religion, or blood status. They did not intend for anyone of exceptional skill to be excluded, which is why I took special precautions for Remus to attend, and I stand by my decision.</p><p>“In less than two years, the four of you will graduate and unfortunately, you will be faced with some very difficult decisions. Please, remember this conversation. Remember the friends that you have made here. Most importantly...” he paused and looked directly at Remus. “Most importantly, remember that people have and will continue to die fighting oppression until Voldemort is defeated. I believe that good will triumph, but in the end, it is for your generation to decide, not mine.</p><p>“Now for the matter that is truly at hand. Severus, you will not tell another soul about Remus’ condition unless he gives you express permission. Additionally, you and Sirius will be spending detention with me until such time as I decide that you learned from the consequences of your actions. Finally, for all of you, whatever feuds exist between you, ends now. The next time any of you are caught molesting another, you will be immediately expelled. Is that all perfectly clear?”</p><p>Severus cleared his throat. “Sir, are you not going to punish Lupin or Potter at all?”</p><p>Dumbledore sighed and thought for a moment. “No, Severus, I am not. I believe that Remus was justified in his actions, assuming he never does something like that again. And as it was just told to me, James acted to save your life. In contrast, both you and Sirius attempted to or succeeded with committing grievous bodily harm to another. Now, unless there’s anything else, it’s best you all head off to bed. It’s gotten quite late and I know you all have class in the morning.”</p><p>James, Sirius, and Severus thanked Dumbledore quietly and headed off to their respective common rooms, but Remus stayed behind. “Sir, I… I don’t deserve this. You should just send me back to my dad. You can’t guarantee that Severus won’t tell anyone and there’s always a chance I could hurt someone and-”</p><p>“Son, have you not been listening? It would be an insult to not let a gifted wizard such as yourself finish your studies here. As I recall, you didn’t receive any grade lower than an Exceeds Expectations on your OWLs, which is quite a feat. Furthermore, I expect that we’ll be needing your help before this war with Voldemort is done.” The headmaster walked over and amicably grasped the teen’s shoulder. “Your mother didn’t die in vain, and I will not let you throw away her sacrifice, understood?”</p><p>Remus sniffled and nodded. “Thank you, sir. But...with all due respect, my mam didn't sacrifice herself for anything. She was murdered by Death Eaters for being a Muggle, and I won't ever forget that.”</p><p>---</p><p>25 June 1994:</p><p> </p><p>Remus knocked on the door to the potions classroom and waited until he heard a response before opening the door. “I wanted to let you know that I’ve resigned, so I suppose you’ll have another shot at the Defense Against the Dark Arts position.” He paused and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I knew we’d never be close, but I didn’t think you’d still hate me this much.”</p><p>“Everyone had a right to know what you are. Parents deserved to know who’s been teaching their children,” Severus said simply without looking up.</p><p>Remus gave a tired laugh. “Perhaps that’s true. However, I feel like you should know that I never told Sirius, or even Dumbledore, about what happened. It was Regulus Black.”</p><p>Severus finally looked up at that. “What are you going on about?”</p><p>“When you cursed me during sixth year,” Remus replied. “I told everyone I couldn’t remember who did it, but Regulus saw you and told his brother.”</p><p>Severus’ eyes went wide as he vaguely remembered encountering Regulus in the common room that night, but he said nothing. </p><p>Remus turned to leave but paused and sighed. “Do you know what the biggest difference is between you and me, Severus? I wasn’t given a choice on whether or not to become a monster. You were.”</p>
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